The baby starling, fallen
The question to ask again is: Where is the illusion?
"It would be perfect to be endless," the Greek sculptor used to say
in nameless warmth, with sunlight in every corner
Ah, the poetics of space.
At the door of the house, who will come knocking?
Pain without marks is like speech without writing doomed to pass into oblivion.
"Nearly" and "Closely", not "Exactly" and "Perfectly"
I'll tell you some stories of how memory and imagination
modify and transform by initiating an open-minded dialogue with a Turk.
A wind from a distant autumn is trying to rise
The evening comes like an attack
The dark and the silence are -
Curious the persistence of bone.
Its obstinacy in fighting off dust,
its resistance to diminish into ash.
A castle of ashes swept away by the wind
A baby starling, fallen.
Note:
I thoroughly enjoyed this week's writing exercise in class. I like puzzles and I felt like that is what this poem was. A puzzle I was putting together. Surprisingly, it is not too abstract. I found some interesting consistencies with the lines I chose. I think I can relate them back to what Hugo called "triggering words". All of my triggering words have to do with things I perceive as infinite - the stars, the ocean, time, concepts (i.e. hope, love, warmth), etc. I'll write a longer piece on those later but for now the poem intrigues me. I think I will revisit it in a day or two and try a sign inventory exercise with it.
There is some fantastic language there. Next revision, try replacing some of those abstractions (not all) with concrete nouns. It would offer you a more tangible world. For example:
ReplyDeleteNot
I'll tell you some stories of how memory and imagination
modify and transform by initiating an open-minded dialogue with a Turk.
But
I'll tell you some stories of how memory and money welcome us, like the sleek stall of an open-minded Turk.